It was two days before our supposedly “futsal” training on Tuesday when Christine texted me.
“Do you have proper football shoes?”
“Yea. Futsal right. You also have, the green Nike one right?” Still pretty oblivious to what she was referring to because we have been playing futsal together some time back so she has definitely seen me playing with my futsal shoes.
“Haha, those are futsal shoes though, different. But my shoes are so old, not worn it for the longest time”
“WAIT. ARE WE PLAYING FOOTBALL?! NO RIGHT… OMGGGGGG THIS IS FOOTBALL?!!!!
…and that’s when I realised I signed up for something that my heart is not prepared for. It’s field football, you know the one where you see Liverpool play on tv? Yes, that ONE. The crazy big ass field. The last time I was on ANY field was few months before the wedding! I panicked a little while until I realised that I promised Christine & the organiser much earlier to come for this 3 week social game thingy. So I just gotta honour what I say.
On that day, I was that close to bailing because my washing machine decided to fail on me and flooded my entire kitchen. I will leave that for another time but I went for that session anyway. The only person I knew at the pitch was Christine & her sister.
When I arrived, I freaked out.
The organiser, Afiq told me that it’s a social game and everyone has no experience. What I saw was a completely different thing. -_____- The girls were already on the field with their full attire – jerseys, shin guards, long socks and their boots playing against another team. And they played AMAZINGLY GOOD!
I just went pretending like I know what’s going on. Thank God for the nights that I watched football on tv, at least I know what the coach means by taking centre or LB. HAHAHA…
The night left me wondering what did I just do for the past 60 mins. I was so unfit, barely able to keep up after 5 mins. I ran with all my heart but the opponents were too fast. OMG. Frus giler you know! NOTHING that I have ever experienced before. I was gasping for air…. *help me*…
Fast forward 2 weeks later, it was the last game of the social game series. I was soooooo close to bailing (again!) but Afiq was cheering us on every few days and asked us to come even to support the final match day. Christine wasn’t even going on that day.
I knew nobody. The fear was real.
I still didn’t know how to play football, what more passing and dribbling. I didn’t know anybody and clearly, I was the odd one out because everyone knew which position to play and stuff. Teamwork was on point and I felt that I shouldn’t ruin the chemistry by being part of it.
I was so late for the game, I really wanted to ffk but I went for the last 15 minutes and it was probably one of the best decisions I made this week!
No, I did not score a goal nor did anything spectacular but I was so glad I tried. I gave my best shot (pun not intended) and I defended like I was at war! HAHA. I had a better game than my previous session and I was better prepared mentally.
I went home that day quite pleased with myself because I learnt a great life lesson for myself.
Like hey, that experience wasn’t so bad. I didn’t drown in loneliness or embarassment although I came home with a sprained arm & bruised swollen lips, so bad that the first thing my client asked me at the meeting today was.. “What happened to your face?” HAHAHA.. but I survived!
I wouldn’t know how playing football on the pitch will be like if I didn’t try! And how many opportunities do I get to play like this? Dah lah so hard to find kaki for futsal, what more football.
Never try, never know.
Because you will never know what experience comes out from that just one try. Even if the experience isn’t a pleasant one, the next time you say “NO”, you are not responding out of fear but because you really don’t like it.
When I was much younger, I said no to a lot of things out of fear and hence, missed out a lot on great experiences. When I was much older say 3-4 years back, I decided to go on to the other extreme to just try on different experiences.
Travel alone? Try.
Change career path? Try.
Do event planning and be project leader? Try.
Play guitar? Try.
Get married? Try. hahahahaha…
But everything at least just try. If the consequences isn’t too detrimental, I don’t see why we should let fear should hold us down. Fear has this thing of making things a bit too dramatic.
I’m not too sure myself if I would ever consider playing football again, maybe yes maybe no but I’m so glad I tried. Came back with a revelation and more! 🙂
After all, if I never try, I will never know if it’s good or not right!