For a girl who can’t wait to retire early so she can be a tai tai and do nothing all day, I don’t do very well with an empty schedule. I come up with to-do lists when I have free time so that it would be a productive day, or so I hope. I put literally EVERYTHING on my to-do list, even relaxing things.. like putting on a facial mask! Lol. Unfortunately, when I only cross out half of what I’m supposed to do, I feel like I have failed and I bring these to-do items forward to the next day and the cycle continues.
Now, before you judge me.. I do this because I have zero discipline in life. Unlike my husband or any other normal human being, I do not have a single routine I keep in life except going to work and church. My shower time is never consistent, my order of getting ready is never the same nor my choices in life. One day I can be waking up at 6.30 am and the next day at 7.00 am. I hate routines.
That’s why I need to have a to-do list to…keep living.
On the other end of the spectrum, I feel tired of just doing. Of having the need to achieve something. I believe this paranoia (of making every moment count) stemmed out from my past working experience because I hardly had any time for myself. It was spent on either eating, sleeping and mostly, working. So any free time I had was precious!
I’m in this terrible dilemma, of first world problem, guys. -__-
I don’t wanna do ANYTHING but I also want to do EVERYTHING.
This realisation only came after Marc and I had brunch when I asked him what’s next and he said he was just going to chill. By that, it means wasting his life away by watching some series/videos about sports or some tutorials on bass. I couldn’t just chill, you know. I need to add that into my to-do list. That’s what I did and now, I’m hooked.
I wasted so much of my life watching 4 seasons of Episodes in a week and I felt like the most horrible person on earth! I was so upset at myself for losing control and binge of some series. That’s when I realised man, I gotta take a chill pill. I need to learn not to be so hard on myself, that it’s okay to have some setbacks and even to have some fun. Haha. It’s healthy.
The art of doing nothing. No schedules, no targets, nothing to achieve.
Just relax and let loose once in a while. I can do this!
Does anyone experience something similar to this? Would love to hear your thoughts so I know I’m not someone crazy! ❤
Blogging check (/)
Not really. *nervous laughter*
I’m really kidding!!