10 milestones in 2017

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!! ❤ ❤

Can’t believe 2017 came and gone just like that! Can’t brain how each year goes by faster than the previous one and here I am, reflecting how the year has been – the good and the bad. Clearly, this was drafted before the year ended but like always, I can’t seem to complete it on time.

2017 was a year of pushing my limits, especially in my career. I was doing things I have never done before – to see what I can do and what I can’t. I’m glad it happened because now I know what are my boundaries.

#1 – Read my bible and pray everyday (almost!)

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For the longest time, I have an inconsistent growth in my spiritual walk with God. Some seasons, it can be so good and other times, so discouraged and meh. Some days, I pray in the morning, some days in the evening or none at all. So inconsistent! Every year, I pray and ask God for a deeper relationship with Him but my lack of discipline takes over each time.

One day, I couldn’t take it anymore and I told God that I couldn’t do life for the next 20-30 years like this. I can’t be reading bits and pieces of the bible when God had prepared the Holy book in whole! 

As I took it day by day, I realised how beautiful God’s Word is and wow, life was never the same again! As I reached out to Him every morning, I realised that I can feel his heartbeat even more and I look forward to more mornings like these with Him!

#2 – Moved out, moved in and moving out

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So, we moved out of our rented place in March, then moved in to my mom’s place for this transition period before we move to our new place in a month or two. So much packing and unpacking! Honestly, we just can’t wait to do our unpacking for the last time.

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Through this experience, I have learnt to live minimally and not to hoard so much because the packing can be so annoying. But yay, to our new place! Can’t wait to move in and call it our home. A cozy home where we can invite people over and build relationships! Cheesy much, but really! We really want to do life with people in our home!

#3 – Last birthday as a 20 year old something

I thought that this birthday was just like any other birthday – uneventful and simple – especially when it was a work day. I’m okay with that actually, no expectations but I had one of the most memorable birthday celebrations ever! Dinners were thrown by my families with love and unexpected gifts from my colleagues and friends! #win

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Then, Marc made it even sweeter by surprising me with a super duper awesome staycation in Awan Mulan and it was the best!! ❤ He is just the BEST HUSBAND la!! I love how he always surprises me with things like that, knowing that I LOVEEEE trips more than some fancy jewellery stuff. YASSS! We also became friends with Patrick, the manager over there! #morewin

#4 – Joined Acts Teens ministry alongside with the Mr. 

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Ah, this left me blank for a while. If I could be very honest with you, I was secretly bitter about the fact that my then-boyfriend, now husband was spending tooo much time in church, serving the Lord. Who am I to complain, right?

It’s me against God.

There’s no room for me to even argue. People tell me that it’s better for him to be in church than to be somewhere else. But the struggle is REAL. At times, I just wanted to call his pastor and begged him to give Marc some time off so that I can be with him.

So, if I can be really honest, I resented his ministry and I felt sooo guilty and ashamed for feeling that way. I should have been more supportive and understanding, but I couldn’t help myself. 😦

Throughout this, God was working behind the scenes and was preparing for something greater. As I surrendered to Him daily in my devotion (as per point 1), I was challenged and convicted to serve in this ministry alongside with Marc and so I did. It was 10 years since I mingled around the teens and I’m still finding my way to the world of anime, K-pop and some Youtubers that I barely know.

But hey, with God – ALL things are possible! So, let’s do this! 🙂

#5 – Saw my biggest project come to life – ArtVenture

Oh, where do I start from this? Lol.

This feels like literally giving birth (minus the birth pains) because this project took 9 months for it to come to life. From creating the content to backing it up with research to making it fun with the children to the camp name and colours, it was quite a journey.

Joy and I became inseparable because of this and I’m so thankful that we got to do this together.  When the camp finally happened in Miri last November, we (including Mae) were so overwhelmed with the response and volunteers’ feedback and we knew we did it right!

#6 – My first and last solo trip as a married woman

I was soooo restless and jaded with life by March. I was questioning my purpose in life, in work and in my surroundings. Is this all life had to offer? I felt so stuck and I really wanted to go somewhere to clear my mind, be refreshed…and to surf too.

I just wanted an escape. 

Escape I did, so I booked a flight to Bali without Marc and just did my usual backpacking thing – stayed in some hostel, hang out with new people and got some surf. Let’s just say that it’ll be my last time doing this. At least I did it and knew that this wasn’t for me anymore. I MISSED MY MARC SOOO MUCH! Every single moment, omg! I wished that he was there to share the sunset with me, to share my meals with me and to experience new stuff together with me.

So yeap, first and last. Haha.

#7 – Car accident

I blogged about this here but what I didn’t share was – my mom read my blog post and decided to appeal on my behalf, so we went through the hassle of going to the police station again and again to provide more documents, statements and evidence.

Without my knowledge, she even went to the accident scene and asked every shop nearby if there was any eye witness or CCTV for evidence. I didn’t have much hope on it, but my mom felt that we should fight for justice.

I realised that as I surrendered it to God and forgave, God sent my mom to be my advocator because I was ready to let it go. In the end, the appeal was to our favour and we got to claim the other party’s insurance and my car is fine again!

#8 – Got sick (again!)

Sigh. I honestly thought that working in an NGO will help me cope better in my personal life and health. Well, it didn’t.

To be more specific, I didn’t cope well at work. I just continued working and working, till I didn’t have enough sleep nor eat well nor live well. All I did was chasing after deadlines. Am I a…….workaholic….after all? Lol. I hope not.

When I got sick this time, I really thought that this is it. I won’t be able to survive past 2017 because I felt so sick for 3 months consecutively and none of my meds work. OMG. This must be something serious. After some tests and medical check-ups and loads of money gone in smoke, I’m thankful that I’m alive! No cancer (and no, I’m not being dramatic)! The doctor even prepped me for a surgery if needed to.

PRAISE GOD!! 🙂 ..and I’m given a 2nd chance to live.

#9 – Anxiety attack 

I always knew that I get anxious pretty quickly, which then led to a lot of bad decisions and emotional breakdown. But what I didn’t realise is that it affected me soo bad that I lashed it out on Marc and go all crazy on him. Man, that isn’t a pleasant sight you want to see.

I knew I had to do something about it when I took a anxiety test in a workshop and I was pretty close to ‘needing counselling’.  Gulp. I started doing breathing exercises and just be a little bit more aware of my surroundings and it slowly became better. One step at a time, lady. One step.

#10 – One year anniversary! Woohoo!  

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Never knew that I could love this man more and more each day! Although we are still very early on in our journey in marriage, I’m so thankful that I get to wake up to this face every morning and share every meaningful experience with him!

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I learnt so much about myself in this marriage and there are days where I screw up so bad, yet he is so forgiving and graceful to me. Marriage has taught me a lot of things – I saw how prideful and selfish I was – and I pray that it gets better through the days and years.

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Thanks for going through this journey with me! 🙂 SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU! ❤ ❤

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Honestly, I’m so not ready for 2018 but time waits for no man. It’s either I dived in straight or wait for waves to crash on me. Either way, I get wet. So, let’s do this!

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